i'm such a fool ...

first off ... Andy we totally better go to San Fran when i get back!!! i've never been but really want to go. i get back home on july 18th, when i talked to lisa i mentioned the idea that maybe u guys should drive on up my way, spend a day in the good ole' countryside and have some a good homecooked meal, and then we'll head to SF? how does that sound? and totally bring phat along! i actually miss him and his last email was not satisfying! grrr

so this weekend, went to the onsen, got naked, drank a lot (it was interesting having sammi actually encourage me to drink! thanks ... i think), avoided lots of bugs, but saw a lot of pretty green stuff. i'll say this for japan, it has definately helped me get comfortable being naked in front of people. they just dont care here and so why should i? i didnt even mind being naked in front of all the americans, it was actually quite freeing and comfortable, aside from falling off the shower stool on my bare ass in front of all the japanese, hmm mmm.

so now onto the emotions ... if you dont want to read about me being a fool then i suggest skipping this part :P

so yeah, im such a fool!! and jessica will attest to it. if you were at the onsen then you would have noticed the amount of time i was spending with a particularly unavailable guy! but hes sooo nice ... i think i owe jessica like a 1000 dollars by now. basically we sat together on the bus on the way there and back, kept finding myself around him at dinner, during the drinking party, at the park thingy ... oye, im hopeless. i think i continue to do this to myself because i know hes unavailble which means its safer for me in that i cant initiate anything and i know he wont. i swear sometimes he likes me too, just sometimes. but then he goes and calls his girlfriend on the bus today :( lets just say in many ways i feel like im actually getting older, but in the area of men i still feel so young. i mean i got freakin giddy when he emailed me on my phone just randomly like at 10:30 at night to see what i was doing.

alright, if your still reading this ill put u out of ur misery! i should go home, have a slight headache because i only slept 2 hours last night and drank quite a bit.

ok bye :)