the lack of ...

concentration ... yes, i had it for a while and now i've lost it again. dwidling my time away on the internet *damn you internet, you bloody temptress!! must get back on track. too many distraction though. how do u rid yourself of distractions? JUST DO IT or suffer the consequences :(

thanks for making everything green rain, but u can stop now ... SoCal just isn't made for this much rain!! although it makes it nice to sleep too ~ ahh, another distraction!

good bye :P

how can we lose ourselves

it was a good movie but made me very sad. i thought of my grandfather who lost himself and finally let go some years back. but now i think of my grandmother and for the first time in a while i'm crying. she is only a shell of herself. my dad said when he looked in her eyes there was nothing looking back. we chanted with her and said it was ok to let go. it's so hard seeing her and thinking of what she used to be like, how active she was, and how i know she would have said "i hope that doesn't happen to me, that would be the worst, forgetting who you are and who your family is" but she has. i don't understand it. how can we lose ourselves?

it's all over

so, yes, it's finally over. you no longer need to hear about the nerves and the practicing of questions at the dining table. however, the wait begins! da da daaaaaaaaaa! the interview went all right. none of the questions were that hard ... and im slightly worried that perhaps my personality didn't come out as much as i wanted it to or maybe it appeared i was trying to hard, although i was being myself. oh well, no point on thinking about it now. must continue with life, appreciate the time i have left here and work my ass off!!!! man, it's bitter sweet though. i want april to be here already so i know whether i got accepted, but as soon as april is here that means only another month of school left and i dont know if im ready for that. and i know it's going to go by quick! ahhhhhhh ~ capstone now lurks up behind me and is ready to bite! i can take you, i can take you (as im running away) :-P